Kesariya Balam: Beloved Friends

It’s really happening. Saif’s leaving to take on a new job. He’s still here to do music with me, but it’s hard to accept that he won’t be taking care of Impressions of Devotion.

Since my last song came out a few weeks ago, “Kesariya Balam,” surrender has been the name of the game. Goodbyes to people I badly wanted to keep around and hellos to unfamiliar faces.

The communities we create when we do music projects are undeniably powerful. Saif’s been working with me since the Ismaili Music Ensemble formed in 2010. He must have been 15 years-old at the time. A sweet kid with powerhouse vocals. I later went on to hire him for multiple music projects. Eventually, he became my right hand man + one of my closest friends.

Saif performing in the Kesariya Balam music video

Just last week he presented a very personal story to my Hero’s Journey class as a guest speaker. Before he started, I showed the class my Ali Goyam video so they could get to know Saif through his beautiful voice.

Then he spoke. Openly, authentically and freely. His narrative invited the kids to divide meaningful growth from the farcical labels that we permit to define us.

We were on Day 8 by that point, and my international/multicultural class had been working on a collaborative project. The artistic work they produced was remarkable, especially because some of the kids weren’t sure if they were good enough to participate. Many struggled to understand each other’s languages and idioms. But, I could see that when Saif spoke with them, they felt a little more supported and a little less serious about life. Quickly thereafter, they dove into their projects with a fresh, confident lens.

He was an important part of their success, just like he has been an important part of my success.

And now it’s time to say goodbye.

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Sidebar: When I first started studying “Kesariya Balam,” I kept wondering: why does the narrative voice keep calling out to the Beloved even after He has arrived?

It’s because he always leaves again.

Maybe this is the lesson I’ve been needing to learn about friendships.

Each of these experiences is like a poetic rendezvous in time. Each hello tinted with a bittersweet hue of goodbye.